Friday, May 23, 2008


It seems there is a new topic for intense discussion during quiet/rest-time in C and S's classroom-- marriage (I guess they discuss it quietly). I haven't been able to suss out the full story of what inspired such conversation, but have been hearing tidbits of the talk during the evenings. I find that the boys don't like to discuss school right after pick-up, but if I time my so-what-happened-today questions just right, I usually get glimpses into their lives spent away from us.

I have always hated the sexualizing of children. I'm not even referring to the ridiculous clothing with outrageous sayings marketed to young girls and don't get me started on those.... those Br***z dolls. I'm including those 'innocuous' questions people ask three-year-olds; "So do you have a girlfriend yet?" since I don't find them innocuous in the least. I really managed to piss off one of my NYC neighborhood moms when the twins were four-months-old. Six years ago there seemed to be a big ol' batch of boys born up in Washington Heights, and many of these new mamas found each other while walking laps around Ft. Tryon Park, self included. One day, our informal posse gathered for some companionship and it turned out there were six infant boys and one girl. The mom of the girl remarked, "Oh, lucky her! She'll have her choice of boyfriends." "Unless they are interested in each other," I quickly replied. I don't make assumptions about my sons' sexual orientation and truly, what a silly thing to say about infants anyway. Hey, wanna ride in my double stroller? I can imagine the pick-up lines now. Mom of Baby Girl did not like my retort and I don't think we did too much hanging from them on. Maybe she found my response obnoxious. Maybe she didn't like the idea of her child being rejected. Maybe she was a proponent of (cough-cough) "traditional" marriage.

Anyway, marriage talk has infiltrated the five-year-olds' classroom. Here's what I learned:

C: I asked Serena that when we grow up, would she marry me, but she said no. Maybe I'll ask her again and tell her how fun it is to be a wife.

Wow, I didn't know I was such a role model for the funness of wifedom! And then:

S: Fiona really wanted to marry Jacob but we took a vote. We decided that I should marry Jacob. Now we just need to figure out how to adopt children.

So kids have no issue imagining this possibility. Why so much trouble for some adults? And I can no longer abide by the 'religious' excuse. Are these same folks not eating lobster? Are they stoning their daughters? Do they really know what the Bible says in context about the issue? Do they know what Jesus said? (That would be nothing, and remember with whom he was hanging out day after day). On the back of our minivan, we've affixed two stickers: One is of the Episcopal Church. The other reads Love ALL families. Support ALL marriage. I guess my sons and some of their classmates have gotten this message.

Go, Massachusetts. Go, California. We hope Connecticut is right behind ya.

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